keeping faith.

as january draws its curtains

2012-01-30T15:03:00.001+08:00

2012 has been alright so far.. this week was pretty boring.. i have nothing to do at all! but i'm trying to get as much rest as i can now before school starts. i've been lazing around, playing with the dogs, and basking in the summer heat. it's so hot you can feel the sun on your skin.. and it's not as humid here as in singapore so it's very hard to sweat! so all the heat is trapped in my body):

but it was a cool 15 degree celsius last night! was so nice to sleep in that weather. anw cyclone iggy is moving south west alr after nearing the north coast of western australia. it's still a category two cyclone but weather reports have said that it might turn into a category three cyclone as it moves southwest, away from the coast and towards the indian ocean.. although it's away from the coast, it's still pretty near us as we live south of the river.. perth itself is southwest of WA, and we live south of perth.. oh well, what will come will come.. i think we might just have strong winds and more rain.

so i'm slowly living the life of a typical australian.. staying at home, watching the news, watching tennis on tv, reading the papers, and wearing shades all the time. i realise people here are very updated on the news.. plus the way they present the news is a lot better than singapore's so it makes it less dry and boring..

as for sports, i've always been pretty in the loop about the australian netball team, the diamonds, ever since i was in singapore. so that's a pretty okay thing for me.. i follow natalie medhurst, caitlin bassett, laura geitz, julie corletto, kimberlee green, natalie von bertough, the diamonds, netball australia on twitter so i know what's going on.. as for tennis, i've been watching the australian open if i've got nothing to do (which is most of the time).. i've been rooting for nadal since the quarter finals and when he made it to the finals, i sat two hours straight watching him play, only to be interrupted by dinner. the entire match lasted close to 6 hours.. making it the longest ever final in grand slam history. although he lost, but as joe said, he put up a really good fight. i'll be supporting him again at the next grand slam. hopefully i'll meet some people who like me, support nadal and we can scream for him at the next grand slam (if it's in perth)..

i went for my theory test but failed it by 2 points. i got 22/30. so i'm gonna take it again soon (i think later).. idk why there're so many different signs.. children crossings but red and yellow mean different things. and my nightmares.. unattended intersections and roundabouts. the neighbourhood is full of roundabouts.. and there're different signals and different lanes that you must keep to because each roundabout has a maximum of four exits! here.. it's very organised and strict unlike in singapore! newton circus is just.. anyhow 冲! everyone here is more patient.. the cars WILL give way, will signal and everyone looks after each other on the roads.. well not everyone, but at least it's a lot of people.

i'll be starting school soon

first week!

2012-01-20T14:10:00.001+08:00

so i've been living in aussie for a week alr and it's been good so far! registered with centrelink and medicare in 2009 so i could skip those this time round (unlike daddy). so i've got my bank account up and running.. i'll be getting an ORANGE mastercard and eftpos (nets in singapore) card! *excited*

applied for a few jobs and at my first interview at a pharmacy.. i got it! :D then three days later, i received an offer at murdoch university to read a double degree but three majors course. it's really cool. i'll graduate with a BForensics/BScience but i read forensic biology, toxicology, molecular biology, and biomedical science. in their double majors table.. you can only take "forensic biology and toxicology" with either "molecular biology" or "biomedical science" but i've got the pack! i fell in love with the course as soon as i read about it.. like "yes let's go for it"! i wanted to challenge myself.. and now i've been given the chance to! i can't wait to start school.

but then.. dad's not that happy because he says murdoch isn't a good university. so idk.. i've changed my preferences and put this course as my last choice (i'll still have the offer) to see if i can still get a place at UWA or curtin.. which are better unis. but i think in the whole of australia (idk about the world).. my course is the unique one! but i'll take four years to complete it.. but it's okay! (:

so even if curtin offers me pharmacy or nutrition or psychology.. i might still take up this course. at least for the first year.. if i don't like this course, i can apply in nov 2012 for other courses and this time.. i can use my alevel results! although i think it'll be quite bad ): but it's okay at least i have a chance! applying in nov 2012 will be the NORM.. i'm now abnormal.. starting uni before all my peers in singapore! if i accept murdoch's offer, i'll go for orientation on 13feb! HOW FAST IS THAT! (:

i'm pretty excited for school cause i'll get to know more people and my social circle will expand beyond my neighbours =.= (tsktsk vivien always complains about my social circle in singapore)

oh yes i haven't mentioned my carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! i'll be expecting to receive my bank card next week and i can FINALLY go for my driving theory test! and assuming i pass, i'll get my learner's permit and i can drive around in my brand new car! (okay it's a second-hand one but the workshop will do a good job i trust!) dad and mum sat in it for a test drive and oh no i think daddy loves my car! it's a small hatchback but ohhohohohoho it's really expensive in singapore! (石头knows!) will post the photo when i get it on mondayyyyyyy

so now i'm thinking.. shld i go down to the pharmacy tmr to discuss with my manager or wait till monday..? i don't wanna give them last minute notice. cause idk if she still wants me since my course now has nothing to do with pharmacy. plus.. my course will be so taxing (right?) that i doubt i'll have the time and energy to work.. ):

so i need a lot of advice now ): should i accept murdoch's offer? i want to but i wanna be super sure about it first..

2nd round offers will be out on 2feb and if i accept murdoch's offer.. i'll head down to the university on 3feb for the units selection thing >.<

and my house internet is super slow =.= the network sucks.. i'm at riverton library with my sister now! go find me on the map! (:

tough time

2012-01-12T14:45:00.001+08:00

so my family and I have been planning for our big move to aussie since I was sec2..

I was supposed to go after sec2, and I'd enter aussie high sch year 10. but as all the students chose their subjects for senior high only after year 10, we decided for me to stay in s'pore for one more year so that I'd enter year 11 directly and it'd be a clean break..

then came sec3.. I was in exco and I really didn't wanna go.. my reason was because I wanted to stay for syf in 2009.. but actually I just couldn't let nhds go..

so after olevels, it was too late for me to go as there would be subject mapping problems.. as the students were already sorted into classes, I would not be allowed to take that subject if the class is full.. so my parents let me stay till after alevels so that I'll enter into uni straight..

so the time is finally here, it's time for me to I finally migrate to australia.. it will be a new start and I'm scared.. but I know it'd be a great experience as long as I embrace whatever comes my way..

see you guys in aussie! :)

the start of 2012

2012-01-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

has been alright so far. i've been dancing (thanks to josephine). performed for the sco concert on 6 and 7 jan. well it has been a really "enjoyable" journey. the dancers were alright.. and.. oh well i think the dancers will know what i'm talking about. but i hope no one else i love gets affliated with ____ and end up in a pile of shit like us. lawsuits here and there and everywhere. i'll testify if i have to.. all the way from australia. and if someone dares to sue me, i'll sue that person back.. along with the support of many other people.. and others who will sue along with me.. sounds like an ugly story aye?

anw other than that.. there's been loads of packing! pack pack pack pack. finally the house is so empty that echoes can be heard very loudly!

oh well i'm too lazy to post photos here.. it's on facebook. and all my activities can be found in the album too! except the visits back to nhds and njcd and my lunch with ms tan! i really love her a lot ): hope her neck's fine! hope she don't have to go for operation! hope that.. (secret) ohno):
anw the lunch was great. laughed a lot talking about the old days and also about the current students.. from sec1s to sec3s. she says there's a sec1 girl that looks like me who came to audition!

anw i left the lunch feeling like the luckiest student ever. i was full from a lunch on ms tan's tab, a gift from her, and mr low's apple necklace round my neck. both my dance instructors from nhds. really blessed to have them as my dance instructors. and i'll really miss them ): i rmb laoshi hugged me really tightly on friday when i left dance prac. i'll miss him! ): ):

and i miss baby chew): gonna pick him from the quarantine centre on friday! can't wait to see him. and i'm looking forward to him being happy again :)

using this poem tomorrow (today)

2011-12-30T03:55:00.001+08:00

we've laughed together,

supported one another,

teared for each other,

and weathered storms together.

we've been at our best,

and fallen deep down low,

but once put to the test,

we impressed till the end of the show.

we've sailed this amazing journey,

left footprints and shared our story,

along the way touched hearts of many,

lived our dance, left a legacy.

as a new chapter starts to unfold,

as this next story awaits to be told,

as the cycle now repeats,

a dance of never-ending heartbeats.

laoshi said..

2011-12-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

that i'm more tanned than xinyu alr! oh gosh i've officially taken over as the new 小黑! :O

anw i received a really nice card from yiting today and an orange present from xinyu! :D but the pig is really very heavy ): scared of luggage weight..

dance stuff.. i'll elaborate after tmr's practice :)

haven't had such a nice dinner in a long time..

2011-12-29T11:58:00.002+08:00

met up with three of my seniors from nhds for dinner ytd. all of whom were ex-HODGs..

throughout the evening, they kept addressing me as 小妹! well naturally because I was the youngest:)

it was a great dinner.. talked about a lot of things, ranging from the problems we each faced and the funny things! qihui said I actually brought a junior (I think kelly or joanne) up to her at laoshi's house and told the junior smth really funny! and we had this thing that we'd always say when we held the post.. that is.. "if you think I'm fierce.. you haven't seen *insert name(s)* " I'll say xinyu, xinyu said qihui, qihui said yiting and yiting said ellis (idk how to spell her name!) it was super funny:)

qihui also told us about her halloween trip to uss and both xinyu and her shared their experience on the human-cyclone roller coaster ride! xinyu was super funny HAHAHA

and they kept spewing hokkien here and there before realizing I couldn't understand most of it and (either xinyu or qihui) said "你们一直讲hokkien可是小妹听不懂!" funny max!

but I didn't take photos with them): nvm later! im currently on the train otw to clementi to meet xinyu! NOW WHY DID MY TRAIN JUST STOP?!

okay it moved again..

looking forward to later:) but qihui has school and only finishes at 3):

I'll really miss them when I leave): more about them in the next post!

and I'm wearing my apple necklace again:) thankyou laoshi:)

wishes for june..

2011-12-28T02:44:00.000+08:00

whom i won't be seeing anymore till the next time i'm back in singapore ):

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.

-Irish Blessing

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2011-12-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

while binging on wine gums from (insert country)....

2011-12-24T22:30:00.004+08:00

this week has been alright.. stayed at home most of the time because everyone was still overseas.. but now everyone's back! well almost.. amanda's back from malaysia, xinhua from taiwan, jiaxin from korea, vivien from china. but clarine has also just reached shanghai ): but she'll be back on the same day as mum's arrival and i might be able to catch her at the airport if i'm lucky enough! :)
forced my sister to the shop where i bought my prom dress to get her dress for her graduation ball in march. actually.. i got the dress for her =.= but it doesn't matter! it beats having her feel underdressed at the ball! :) :)

then came friday! had a really great dinner and also a huge surprise that left me with a gaping mouth for about 10 seconds. but i can't reveal the surprise cause i've been sworn (threatened) to secrecy! :) :) so so so so sooooooo thankful for that bunch of people, especially those who planned it. althought i helped.. i didn't know the surprise at all! :) :)

then today! i posted on fb "with christmas comes love" because i got another great present filled with loads of love just now! the best present doesn't have to be the most extravagant.. a simple yet thoughtful message will do the job:)

idk how to survive in aust without this person. no more daily phonecalls): plus i just videocalled all the way there just now too! plus in march.. one in australia and the other in dalian!

ahhhhhh i'll miss you so much. you know who you are :) :)
see you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!
and then again with tze:)
and my series of gatherings is starting soon :) can't wait! but it'll also mean.. less and less time left here in singapore! i miss baby ):

Already Famous

2011-12-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

went to catch the movie Already Famous with amanda and amelia today. felt that it was pretty alright. not fabulously outstanding but a good contrast to other singapore movies. other than that, it was a funny movie and a must-watch if you need a good laugh.

on another note, jiaxin is back from korea! but she didn't bring taeho, uiryeol, and hyejung back with her ): well obviously right(: anw i missed her loads and i know she definitely brought smth back for me! (: we shld have a kbox outing once pang is back (:

so i'm free tmr and wednesday.. what should i do? (:

I MISS DANCING. looking at my tap, jazz and ballet shoes forlornly.. )':

now i know

2011-12-19T03:21:00.002+08:00

what the managers, set designers, lighting people, backstage people, instructors, helpers, caddies etc.. do when they're bored..

i did this when i got bored of waiting for the kids at UCC.

will never forget the joy and the agony along this amazing journey.
we created a miracle in just 101 days :)

switching among my tap, jazz, and ballet shoes.

2011-12-18T22:58:00.001+08:00

speaking of which.. i bought new shoes ytd! a pair of flats and a pair of sneakers which i think mr goh will disapprove of since he shouted "你都不sweet的!" in the school hall at the sight of my pink school bag.
anw.. after the whirlwind of tuesday, i popped by school on wednesday! went to visit my lovely juniors and left with a heavy heart.. i'm worried about their cny item ): hope they don't give up and keep going. but i believe that they'll get there eventually.

took lots of photos with the 绸 after dance practice. the 绸 is really my favourite dance prop.. apart from the wonderbra for syf 2007 but for the chinese dance props.. it's definitely the 绸:)

my 点步翻身! the success shot after many failed ones cause it's very hard to get the timing right :|

amie's butterfly! i managed to capture her at her maximum point!

i tried doing butterfly after that but amie couldn't catch the timings. then i changed to 倒踢 but again.. the timing =.=
so i got really tired from all the running and jumping while extending in mid-air.
so.. i did this..

it was just a simple 后腿踢 :) but the effect turned out really good! plus the 绸 looked so round :)

skip to friday!

out with sister shopping for stuff for her impending graduation ball in march. aussie's is more cool than here. they have to go with a date and wear matching flowers. and theirs is a ball.. unlike prom. i rmb vicky came here to buy her ball dress a few years back. such a chore hunting for such things. but i had my fair share of retail therapy too :)

saturday!

met clarine to chill before heading to the yong siew toh conservatory of music to catch Evocation 2011: The Art of Giving by evokx, pioneer voices, pjc choir and nyjc choir. it was really good! we sat at the first row and had a pretty good view of constance and clarine's junior! :) enjoyed myself at the concert and i realised it's my first time attending a choral concert! :) reeeeeeeeeeeally good! and what made it better was that the concert was for charity! concert was worth the money and charity just made everything so much better :) and i also got to meet my dear clarine after such a long (not really) time :)

oh.. and hear constance's screeches. it's amazing how clarine is able to distinctly hear constance's voice when the sopranos sing.. cause all i could hear were the sopranos =.= i think it's time i got my sister to start singing.. maybe 18 years later, i'll be able to distinctly pick out her voice when she sings with a group. but then again.. i haven't heard constance sing solo.. and my sister will never join a choir =.=

during the concert, i was bombarding clarine with questions about a choir, evokx etc. got introduced to an satb choir (which evokx was) and why the members will change positions etc. and i liked the encore song a lot! (i just had to say it)

anw we camwhored during the intermission..

instagram.. i look like i have a single eyelid left eye! :O

and popbooth!

the rest are on facebook :)

time for a haircut. who's with me?

2011-12-13T15:37:00.000+08:00

one by one, my friends are going off for their holidays ):
i wanna go on a holiday too! ):
although you all might say that i'll be leaving for australia soon, but i want a holiday.. i'm gonna start life in australia.. not going for a holiday! >.<
amanda's in malaysia, vivien's in china, june's in hongkong, xinhua's leaving for taiwan, jiaxin's leaving for korea, nicola's in.. idk where she is presently. shanghai? i'm bored out of my eyeballs now. okay apart from dance.

i'm planning to crash dance tmr if amie doesn't have work. but if she's gonna work.. then i'll probs stay and pack the house. baby left already.. i feel so............... uneasy..
but yea.. gotta pack the house and finish up all the singapore matters in case something crops up in australia regarding baby and i got to fly there immediately. so.. i might leave singapore any time and not neccessarily only on the 12th of january.

gonna leave the house soon..
off to bugis but not to shop.. >.<

what i've been up to!

2011-12-12T02:14:00.001+08:00

i went to bishan to meet bryan on wednesday to collect my phone charger which i left at the serviced apartment =.= then met dad for lunch and discovered a well-hidden posb! did all the necessary stuff which involved posb bank (: had a great lunch! (:

thursday was the picnic with xinhua, jiaxin, june and baby! amanda couldn't come because of her dental appointment at 1.45pm. it was fun catching up with them and of course spending time with baby at the botanic gardens (:

well we wanted to celebrate jiaxin's impending birthday so i bought a cake! and i made jiaxin take baby out for a walk!

baby running back to me when i called out to him!

baby looks so satisfied here! (:

then we decided to move to the pavillion (away from the muddy grass). i told xinhua to hold the leash (first time in her life) while i took the dslr. she started to pat baby in the pavillion so i thought might as well let her give it a go and overcome her fear of dogs! anw if anything happens i'll be there with her at least!

can't imagine how proud i was of her (: (:
then we exchanged roles and i unleashed baby! ran up and down a few times (of course i ran faster) then we headed back to the pavillion.

soon enough, baby got bored and i took him out with the dslr again.. this time alone. and i unleashed him all the way! he was very well-behaved.. happily walking around even when groups of people were walking/running around him.

but he got tired and headed back to the pavillion himself! he only came out when i disappeared from his sight! *cue "awwwww"*

would you take this dog home if you see it sit there all alone by himself? i can't imagine someone throwing baby out two years ago! but luckily mum found him (: he's changed the family (:

friday was busy! i popped by amanda's house to save amelia while on my way to clementi mrt to meet amie. i had to help amelia tie her hair for her PGA ceremony at the istana later in the afternoon! i finished within 15 mins =.= anw i was really relieved to see that amanda was well and that her tooth was okay. hope it stays okay!

then it was down to meet amie, then to the church opposite nanhua for ms wang's holy matrimony! i saw mrs yeo and ms shawna lim there and of course.. lots of jh students. but hey.. ms wang gave us hugs but not them! *臭美* anw she was stunning!! she wore a bustier tube dress that bared her entire back except for a translucent sash across it.

amie and i both teared when her husband said his marriage vow. ms wang did too! cause she couldn't continue after "in sickness and in health" and had to pause to compose herself before continuing. then they exchanged rings and when they kissed, the jh cheered so much!

took photos but she'll send it to me once she gets it. the banquet should've just ended so she should be really tired! doesn't matter! patience is a lovely virtue (:

well then we changed at clementi mall before heading for the botanic gardens (againnnnnnnn). the juniors hung a banner at the entrance of the pavillion that i overheard one of the passers-by say "so sweet!" it was really sweet of my juniors. anw both my slippers got stuck into about 3-inches of mud and i even ran barefooted (due to inertia =.=) and my shirt got mud splashes at the back. my entire leg was covered in mud but it was still fun.

we had to do forfeits and my juniors came up with this ingenious idea..

but xiayin didn't use it in the end (:

i'll miss this group of people when i leave ):

anw prom pictures are finally on facebook! here's three!

prepping with the girls. my makeup was only half-done! >.<

we looked like we were all in black dresses but it's not true! all the dresses just look black!

four grey blazers! i rmb us kept changing positions and hogging this frame cause we gave all our coupons together! :D

well apart from all these.. i've been dancing! a lot! and i'm enjoying it although it's stressful! (:

the end of my agonizing wait..

2011-12-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

and i got the result i expected.. but it's okay! i still have many chances (:
now i shall await the january results :)

anw last night was prom and it was great (minus the waving of napkins). had fun preparing for it with the girls in the gorgeous serviced apartment (kudos to bryan and his mum). in the end.. as expected.. the guys had to knock on our door and ask if we were ready to go. and gosh the guys didn't know i was busy buzzing around the room the entire time! bet they thought i was just lazing around! :O

oh yes! we created some jokes about the outfits! russell looked like a businessman from china and he even pretended to be one in front of ms ng (our vp!) and others! we said nazri looked like mr nathan (our ex-president) and the four guys with matching grey blazers were his bodyguards! jianwei even brought along his puma sunglasses that looked pretty sehhhhh~

but people kept calling me during prom! had a total of three calls! :O 1 even caused me to almost trip and fall! but all in all i enjoyed prom. our class was the first to do the yum seng and we were even louder than the 2nd class! (Y) we all shouted super loud and some of us were a little hoarse after that! i was so hoarse that i couldn't even call out to nurul at the lobby on the way out!

didn't go to butter factory. was too tired alr. walked along orchard road soaking in the christmas lights and just relaxing:) went up to the suite and some of us played mahjong on the dining table while the rest watched movies. we didn't play with the mahjong chips but we had to drink white wine if we threw the winning tile.. or if the winner drew it himself, then the other three have to drink. and we suspected choonkhin was a little drunk. jackson did an incredible feat of catching the dropping wine glass between two fingers (cue standing ovation). played till shimin was on the verge of crashing and we lazed around the apartment. after a while, russell, nicholas and joe went down to macs to buy breakfast for those who were still awake.. then five guys crashed our king-sized bed while the girls were all out of the room. five big guys on our bed! how cosy.. we were grumbling about it in the living room with the rest of the guys! left at 7am with vivien and jess and i was all ready to fall into the warm embrace of my pillow and bed but baby was also all ready to play with me =.= he kept jumping and biting my shirt! luckily he didn't bark at all (:

that pretty much sums out my prom and post-prom.. it was fun (:

anw things to do soon..
hit the library! not to mug but to borrow some good books to read.
meet up with many people to catch up over lunch/dinner/coffee before i leave.
pack! D;
and other nitty gritty stuff for both my parents.

baby's leaving for australia soon! ): gonna miss him ):

wonderful day!

2011-12-04T00:53:00.000+08:00

went to bugis with xinhua and we hunted around for shoes :)
bought makeup stuff each cause they're essential for us ladies and met up with the rest after their job briefing!
had a great lunch (though they forgot to enter my order into the system) but it was the company that made it great :)
walked around a little more and i finally bought my shoes! :) :)

anw an old tuition friend added me on facebook today and now we're having a group chat on facebook. added another one at night too. i think it'll be great to meet up again :)
need to catch up with a lot of people before i migrate.

because..
i might not be able to come back to collect my results..
even if i don't receive any offers in january.. >.<

twelfth grade!

2011-12-02T00:53:00.001+08:00

so in december, cny dance kept us on our toes. it was great times practising in the seminar rooms (cabin classrooms) as the studios, hall, and gym were down from r&r. i laughed till yida threatened to call the ambulance for me. we did 基本功 and yoga until we had insane muscle aches. we were so pressed for time that we did warm ups barefooted/in ballet slippers on the road outside. and of course the life-changing moment of my njcd life.. my fall. got sent to hospital.. received many loving smses.. and i got to know my dancers more. yida doesn't know me very well.. telling me to stay at home the next day. and when i refused he said the dancers will pin me down if i tried to move in the SR. xixi knows me the best.. she said "i know you will come to nj even if you had to crawl here". and roles reversed between my sister and i.. it was time for her to take care of me. turns out i didn't go to dance as i had an allergy to the painkillers. it was a disgusting wednesday.. the next day was the last time we all saw 王老师 for that year.

so 2011 came and it was crazy. cny celebrations.. rehearsals one after the other.. getting sabo-ed by yida to welcome the guest of honour by myself.. doing up the finale in 15mins. @.@ and of course.. a surprise visit from 王老师! (i think i exclaimed the loudest). then cca carnival was.. simply put.. a whirlwind on wheels. then came star symposium.. smth which i've been looking forward to since research started. although we didn't get into ssef, it was an experience i'd never forget. at least i've learnt to make the best out of whatever i was given :)

while in the midst of star symposium and ssef, syf preparation started and we met our new instructors. it was a tough 101 days.. creating a new dance from scratch and performing it in 101 days. the journey was arduous.. which was the worst, but ironically also the best part. blisters, blood wounds, bruises, muscle pulls, sprained ankle, sprained knee.. it all made this journey one of a kind.. syf was the best part of 2011 and i will never ever get tired of talking about it. we grew much closer as a family. we got scolded together, got praised together, cried together, but also cheered together. we encouraged one another in many ways.. through motivating words.. through helping to diao the movements over and over again. it was an amazing journey.. and i believed we created a miracle by clinching the gold award in just 101 days for it was not an easy dance at all..

aristal came and went.. but i was thankful for my amazing classmates who came to watch the show. my amount of shock when i saw them as i ran down the stage was simply too much to be expressed in words. i was the last performer.. and the nearest one to them and i felt so shy! then it was sisc and i finally saw vivien after a (not so) long time! i missed her so much during that time. like A LOT. during the performance.. i kept glancing at her but she just sat there stone-faced (from my pov) but she said she was staring at me and waiting for me to look at her so that she can smile at me! i love this girl.

finally it was june hols and dance camp! had so much fun planning for it! then it was common test and then down to our last few practices. my really sweet juniors made a booklet for each of us with notes inside. and i got an orange flower (finally!) :) :)

prelims came charging at us and soon enough.. it was time for the alevels.. it came and passed really quickly.. and i'm glad we survived it (: (:

so that marked the end of my jc life and it's been great.. but fast. in j1.. pw kept us on our toes. in j2.. alevels made us keep running forward. and we had to do all that while juggling our cca(s), cip and other commitments. i expected jc life to be hectic.. but i didn't expect it to be this tough..

but i enjoyed it all the same. kudos to njcd for taking me in and letting me come into nj! (:

now it's my turn..

2011-12-01T00:36:00.001+08:00

saw vivien's post on her blog about her j1 life and i thought i'd share my story as well. everyone has different stories so don't be afraid to share yours.

well i came here by luck. i was posted to acjc and almost lost my voice just after the first day of orientation. i had three really cool ogls: "lovely lianne", "jumpy jack" and "super sarah". they were really cool kids. lianne's dancing was good but she couldn't join dance due to an injury. jack was a rugger as well as a choir member. he's really buff. and sarah's the captain of the track team (girls)! first day was good. talks ended just before noon and then they had introduction of clans and then games all the way before the completely crazy mass rally! had fun screaming for my clan.. terra(:

then on the second day, nj called me just before morning assembly. and my jc life changed. i stepped into the school which i've watched from afar for 12 years whenever we drive past. i stepped into a non-english school. definitely not something i want as i needed some form of counter-balance from what nanhua did to me.

mummy supported me all the way. driving merrien and i from ac to nj.. then back to ac then to nj again and finally dropping merrien off at her house before heading home. that concluded my 2nd day of jc life.

so on the third day, i was one of the few people left stranded at the atrium while everyone else filed up neatly in the parade square in their sparkling (not exactly) new nj uniforms. i was taken to my og and was the only one in white. luckily i had jiayi, maggie and khengyee to guide me along as i bounced around the entire day. also, i had yunian as my ogl. i felt really lucky that i have a senior that i can trust so much as my ogl. i rmb he was there to comfort me when i was upset over my olevel results.

while everyone else were enjoying their orientation. i went for dance practices on saturday as the lone junior. but i had really nice seniors who guided me. i rmb being stranded at the corner for barrework but xinyan was there to guide me and whisper the next steps to me. i've been aiming for njcd ever since yinghui and mingyue entered and it felt so much like a dream come true during that practice. although i was lost and couldn't get many things right, it was the practice i enjoyed the most in my 2 years. the process of learning something very new to me (chinese dance) was what made it most enjoyable. i got to know my seniors more during cca carnival where angeline and i were called to help man the booth during their performance slot. also during their cny performance, we were their "runners". really enjoyed helping them for their performances.

orientation passed really quickly and soon we were due for lectures. it was our first time attending lectures and i rmb our first lecture was math. sequences and series. it got all of us @.@ (especially me). as time passed, we grew to be more comfortable with our og mates.. but we were soon sorted into classes. i was lucky to have my og mates-jianwei and renfred in the same class as me. at least there were some people i knew. the class bonded pretty quickly.. spending breaks together and unanimously electing wenqi as our class rep. tutorials soon started as we embarked on our wild 2-year paper chase.

march arrived and trials were conducted for the ccas. i went for the trials though mingyue said i didn't have to. but it didn't matter as admission wasn't based on merit. everyone who was interested was welcomed to join. so i made new friends.. people whom i'd call my batchmates for these 2 years.. and for life. pw also started. i rmb all of us pulling our hair out and fretting over our gpp and when it was finally accepted, we cheered so much and felt completely relieved. we were the second group to have our gpp approved.

may came soon enough and i signed up for the ksa-njc science research exchange programme. to my utmost surprise, lynette and i were selected without having to go for an interview! and we were given a research project in collaboration with ksa and would be conducted in ntu. it was the start of my nightmare.

my class was dumped with what my seniors call "the unlucky timetable". ending at 4.30 for three days for me but for 4 days for those who take chinese. i had no time to visit ntu at all. it was really hard. lynette and i were almost never there together. pw, research, upcoming common test and ccas. it was (really) tough.

june hols were packed too. i was either in school for cca, in ntu or keeping up with the wild paper chase at home. it was certainly not a time to rest.. we weren't permitted to do so in the first place. we were given revision packages and past year papers for each subject.. all of which to be completed before the common test.

common test passed and the new dance exco was announced. i was in the exco and we were due to start on our cny item. but the common test results were released and i didn't do well, so i got suspended.. along with many others.. but.. teacher's day came. although i was suspended from cca, i couldn't be suspended from the planning of the teacher's day celebrations. it involved all class reps. we faced many problems of different shapes and sizes. but we managed to pull off a great celebration in the end (: so after teacher's day, i stood down from cca and focused on my academics. and i managed to survive promos! (:

when can i see you again?

2011-11-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

): ): ): ): ): ):
oh no..! ): ):

*cue instant mood change*

anw on the more cheery side! i went to watch 那些年,我们一起追的女孩 with lydia today! it was a nice movie but i think it could do away with all the pervertic stuff. think it's too much. and we didn't even understand some! the guys sitting beside me kept laughing and laughing.. discussing among themselves and i'm like "huh?" and completely awkward too. don't know them at all.

yea but i like the story! cried a few times during the movie (shucks i'm so weak)! lydia cried at the end! but it's really amazing if a guy likes you for so long. but the ending is really true! if you really like a person, all you want is for him/her to be happy. so even if he/she is married to someone else.. you'll be really happy too.

and yes the moment 敖犬 came on screen, i swooned in delight (: haven't seen him for so long ever since mfbbt ended ): oh wait.. apart from activities involving lollipop f.

speaking of which.. they've released their second album.. and i haven't bought their first album. i've also not gotten jpm's first album. and xiaozhu's latest FEW albums. oh no..!

i really want 生命之舞! >.<

and i realised i haven't blogged about my trip to australia in october. *facepalm*

I want to run away now

2011-11-23T22:33:00.001+08:00

at this point of time, I really don't know what to do. how to face and treat the different groups of people.

first group.. I've been waiting the entire day for a single msg but none came. realization, guilt, sorry is just 口是心非..

second group.. I'm lost. they went out by themselves, watched movie etc but completely bo jio. like srsly not even ____ bothered. and I thought I was the closest to her but turns out that she's keeping a lot of things from me. every single time I ask her what happened on twitter, she'll say "nothing" or I'll tell you next time but it has never come.

idk what to do now. idk what is true and what is fake. I opened a convo with her on msn just now but idk what to type.. I wanted to ask "you all went for movie" but was worried that idk how to react to the answer.

I don't wanna meet them after alevels. I don't really wanna meet her because I will wanna ask her about everything. I wanna fly to aust immediately after prom and escape from everything.

almost there!

2011-11-23T00:18:00.001+08:00

two more papers left (:

physics was okay today. although the g-field was said to be the easiest question in section b, but i didn't choose it. well my g-field really sucks. but it's a lot of calculations.. chose to do qn7 instead. now i kinda regret but aye it's over! (:

really hate the attitudes of some people. back then we were so close then now won't even say hi. don't even bother about what i'm saying. really cause me to dislike them a lot now. i asked so many times today but no one bothered replying. gave me mixed answers that do not link and make sense. i'm so pissed. i'm not gonna bother about them anymore.

it's at this point of time, when i'm about to leave s'pore that i find my friends who will really last for life. it's okay even if it's just one or two. doesn't matter. cause it's better than not having any.

oh look at who initiated the latest outing again. me and my bad habit. NO MORE.

isn't it a bit too late to make up for it now. i really dislike her. for spouting nonsense and backstabbing people behind their backs. for attempting to break up once close friends but now just normal (and sometimes awkward) friends. for getting jealous when in the first place no one was jealous of you. what she is doing is really putting me off. now why am i even following her on twitter. oh forget it.

no more econs for the rest of my life!

2011-11-21T21:49:00.001+08:00

unless i become a corporate lawyer.. which is smth i wanna do if i get into law..
OHNO! >.<

anw i exclaimed that really loudly beside the hall (and accidentally in the proximity of my econs teacher's radar ears) today after the paper. really happy that my worst subject is over and i don't have to worry about it until march/april or next/one year later (if i do law undergrad) or until three/four years later (if i do the jd). happy max (:

anw i think ms lim is the best econs teacher. and i think my numerous consults with her during the study leave really did pay off! during that period, i was doing econs almost everyday! literally felt like @.@ to the point where during the last week i felt like puking whenever it was time to start a new essay. but my efforts paid off! i felt that i knew (more about) what i was writing this time..

but there's still this tinge of regret of leaving acjc. i had grown to love that school. and.. it's an english school. needed to continue my english-chinese school trend after ij and nanhua. but most imptly! there's ell! which i qualified for D; btw ell = english language and linguistics.

oh well no use.. my jc life is almost over.. i've a picnic coming up.. two movies.. shopping dates and all coming up. you guys better book me before i flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~! (:

life's gonna be good after alevels.

feel like setting a bonfire to burn all the tests, worksheets and what not. gonna keep the lecture notes and my tons of books (:

10pm! OFF TO BED!

you can't choose which point of the stage you wanna start from.

2011-11-20T21:39:00.001+08:00

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players”

-william shakespeare

in this quote, he likens life to a play.

and it's really true.

shirlyn's mum that told her "results are not everything. you don't need to worry, we'll still secure a place for you anywhere else"
her dad said keeps asking her to stop studying, fail also nvm.
they don't expect much from her in terms of academics, as long as she's tried her best.
angelina's parents told her pretty much the same thing.

xiayin's dad told her "你考砸了，我就养你一辈子"

all of which are the exact opposite of what i'm facing.

life really sucks now. maybe i should do a josephine and run away from home for the rest of my alevels at least.

if i receive no offers by august..

2011-11-20T21:00:00.002+08:00

i will apply to everywhere in aust so that i have more chances to get away. and i'm not afraid.
if i go to sydney.. i have keong.
adelaide.. tess.
brisbane.. yinghui.
melbourne.. clarissa, abigail.
i'll definitely apply to nsw, canberra and nt too. it's okay i am confident of my independence.

all wishful thinking.. for now.
one step at a time..

what a day

2011-11-19T00:08:00.000+08:00

in the morning, i was awoken by a phone call from a stranger.. saying he's outside my house alr. the time was 8.43am and i was due to wake up at 8.45am for he was supposed to come only between 9-10am. so ya.. i rushed to open the door and handed baby over to him. *unglam max* refrained from talking the entire time. luckily baby was cooperative and didn't bite him but nicely let himself be carried by the stranger.

the entire time from 9-12nn was spent doing housework and all while worrying about baby (judging from my facebook statuses). but baby came home perfectly fine and completely normal! (: you could imagine how relieved i was. i was worried that baby would be uncooperative.. whether the injections would be painful for him cause usually i'm there to hug him while the needle is being plunged in. plus this time round, it's blood test as well! and i half-expected to see a dreamy baby when he returned cause i didn't know if he was gonna be given medicine like painkillers. i rmb when i went to collect him a few hours after his operation in 2010.. he didn't even look excited but just -.- all the way home. i camped downstairs in the living room at night with him for 2 whole weeks! (what a great owner i am)

so from 12-3 i fussed over him.. first of course is feeding him. he had fasted for more than 24 hours alr and so yup as expected, he gobbled up the food. but i daren't give him a lot at one go for i was afraid that he would vomit it all out. so i fed him small but many portions. and i was worried he would lick his wound (just worried) so i kept him within sight (:

and yup from my last blog post, i received news i didn't like so ya. it's okay.. life is never fair(:

restrictions

2011-11-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

just talked to zhongyi and he gave me so many restrictions. need everything by 26nov. (which is not possible). then what about the item that laoshi wants to choreo for us and only told us to go down after our alevels?!

kinda agree with _____ now about his way of doing things and his beliefs.

don't think i'll be putting up anything then. OH WELL save it for JC.

i really want

2011-11-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

to be able to work with '95 to produce two items for aha. or at least one.
can't make up my mind so i can't tell them what genre as yvonne asked.
the two genres are really contrasting.
decided that if they give me a positive answer, i'll let them choose.

what..

2011-11-17T22:14:00.001+08:00

heard that wu laoshi's gonna choreograph a dance for alumni+juniors for aristal next year. and i really wanna take part in it! ):

there are two things that can happen come january..

i receive an offer from universities in either melbourne or western australia.
i don't.

and if i don't.. i'll only have my next result in june. and i really hope that if this happens.. i can take part in the item. but it'll take tons of persuading and maybe even quarreling with my parents (including my mum).

the plan was for me to find a job in australia while waiting for my university offer. and at the same time.. learn driving.. which i really want to because i wanna drive my sister to school.

and the reasons they'll probably give are..

where am i gonna stay? yuzhuo's gonna be back from sweden/austria/idk where he is now and i can't stay in uncle wilfred's house. we'll also end the rental of our current flat. old house will probs be sold.
dad will probably go "kheng. don't care about those sentimental things la" and give me a 5 hour long lecture on determining what my priorities in life are and on whether i shld even let njcd be so important to me.
mum will probably go "you care so much about them.. but do they care so much about you?!" and give me another 5 hour long lecture on how i make the wrong decisions in friendships and end up on the losing end and on how i love certain people so much, making sacrifices and all but always end up unvindicated.
i can easily find a job to help supplement the family income.
i need to learn driving as mum's planning to get another car.
i need to help with the moving of house.
baby, casper and pika. with my mum working, my dad definitely finding a job and my sister in her final year of school.. those three devils definitely come under my charge.

i have a lot of things to consider.
amie told me she wants me to dance too and told me to come back if i don't get an offer in january. i want to be back too but there are a lot of things i have to consider. but you have to trust me that i am doing my best and i have to consider the implications about my actions on my family as well. i have to find the best way out. but the main point is.. you all have to have the faith in me that i'm doing my best.

i'm not even sure if i can make it back in march/april when the alevel results are released. but if my parents give me the go-ahead to fly back to collect the results.. i might negotiate with them to let me stay till aristal.

but even if they allow me to stay till aristal, it will ultimately depend on whether laoshi wants to let me into the item in such a short notice (everyone knows he hates these). i'm not as powerful as yiwen.. who only joined 绽放 last year just a month before the performance.

bogged down by a lot of things >.<

can't wait!

2011-11-17T16:17:00.001+08:00

will be playing dream team after alevels. just a friendly match and kind of a get-together.
but! mann's not gonna be in either team cause she belongs to both.

really can't wait to sweat everything out.
need a huge workout after alevels. i'm too cooped up with my notes and all the other work.

so..
should i take up the offer?

i have two more weeks to make my decision..

oh btw.. dream team refers to the white-green-black school that's near us. yea.. their a'div team that won the a'div this year.

halfway through this tormenting exam

2011-11-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

so chem paper3, math paper1 was bad.
math paper2, physics paper2 and econs paper1 i had a lot of mistakes that were uncalled for. and the number of these mistakes increase exponentially for each paper.
gp and chem paper2 was okay :)
i'm ridiculously proud of my gp essay :)

anw went back to dance today to pass lydia some books. opened the door and i totally had the intention to just dump the books at her bag and made a quick run back out.
but wu laoshi had to call out "啊! 进来!" and i was like what? for what? and he just called me come in. so i went in and sat down at the exact corner where he told me to stay and wait. he came over soon enough and asked me how were the exams so far. and i told him it was okay.. just that some were hard.. told him about econs paper1 and chem paper2. and he told me to "好好考" of course i will do my best (:

unhappy stuff in brief.. i just hate to get demoralized by my dad every single time he calls to ask about the papers. like "hahaha! good luck to you man" he actually said that with a smirk + laugh. like wtp. i know it's wrong but i really felt like rebutting him. luckily i didn't or things would've really turned ugly.

anw i really enjoyed myself in dance today. realised i haven't seen my dearest juniors in a long time. same with the dance attire =.= felt old when i felt that some of them have really grown up. wenwen, shermain, kelly just to name a few. wenwen shocked me the most. we were crowding around the radio listening to the new song and i happened to look and her and it just struck me that she has grown up so much. although i haven't really interacted much with her since july.

was good to be back in dance. talked to 吴老师, 黄老师, and 张老师. and of course the best part was seeing my dearest juniors again. gonna miss them truckloads once i leave. plus i won't be able to catch their cny performance no matter which date i fly (12jan or 19jan) because it's on 20jan. nonetheless my heart will be with them and i'll crash their dec practices to spend as much time with them as possible before my long disappearance.

nothing beats dance (:

bad time.

2011-11-07T21:31:00.001+08:00

from last night till now, i've thought about a lot of things.

studying for this upcoming exams hasn't been good at all. i realised that i don't have a fixed study partner, nor a fixed study group. i don't have a fixed study venue, nor a fixed study time. i just studied when i felt like it.

i realised that all the study outings were initiated by me. and some, i get pangseh-ed. i got pangseh-ed for what was to be a regular saturday study outing at SP. and i realised that if i don't initiate, there wouldn't be everything.

take my closest group of friends for example. they have people to study with, in school, at home, outside school, but they never for once thought about us. but everything i do, i put them at the very first. before everyone else. and the worst is, the outings that they have with other people were initiated by themselves.

then i think about my dancers. we wanted to study together once we stepped down but we haven't. and to think everyone was like yes yes yes at that point in time.

it makes me wonder, maybe what mummy said was true.
maybe it isn't really worth doing so much for those who don't deserve it.
maybe i shouldn't put them right at the top when they just leave us in the lurch.

and i have a chem paper tmr.
completely not in the condition to take the paper.

this exams have really forced me to accept the reality, the truth that i have chosen not to see for a really long time.

and now i'm thinking of moving my flight to an earlier date.
i am sick of initiating things.
i am not gonna initiate them anymore.
maybe i should take up the job offers to pass time after A's.

maybe i should just fly there in december just like how daddy wishes.

pre-unearthly gp lesson

2011-10-31T15:46:00.001+08:00

gp lesson from 4-6. SERIOUSLY!

went home after math cause it was pointless staying in sch. managed to do work at home. not forgetting, having lunch and watching tv.

then when I came back to sch, I met my econs teacher whom I just consulted this morning. she was going home! and I was gonna have lesson at 4. what a great time for a gp lesson srsly. *grumble* *grumble*

not the last econs consult afterall

2011-10-31T08:56:00.001+08:00

cause I've arranged another one with her since I'm coming back to sch on thurs. okay so from fri onwards, no more econs for a week. I'm serious. 1st week is chem gp and math. so yea, need to prioritize.

now why is my teacher and more than half the class missing! >.<

econs overload.

2011-10-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

i've been doing so much econs, focusing so much on econs these few weeks (due to the consults) and now i'm doing the final essays for my final consult.

but i'm getting more exasperated by the minute. i'm getting dissatisfied with my essays, so i'll re-think them and rewrite them. and so now.. after a long time, i'm barely halfway done.

and i really feel like giving up, even to the extent of cancelling the consult tmr or just call in sick. really no motivation.

argh.! someone shld just like call me every night to hear me pour out all my thoughts. mum, dad and sis are all unavailable.

i really am barely hanging on.

and i need to start focusing more on chem and physics. like hello. i'll be going into the science stream in future. ESP CHEM.

recently i thought of all my sec sch teachers and how they gave me the motivation to study.
ms sathi, always encouraging and in a way forcing you to willingly read all the history and ss texts.
mrs lee, always putting in extra efforts such that it makes you wanna work hard for her.
mr chew, best physics teacher who always tell me that "it (my A1) will come"
j.lim, who tortured our class for the first three lessons and i mean physically torture. and always putting us down that i will wanna work hard to prove it to her. in jx's terms.. "in her face"
mrs lew, who's so nice to us that it really makes you wanna willingly read the geog texts.
a.k. who is such an impressive english teacher who refused to put me in group 1 and so i kept working my hardest so that i would get that A1 and prove him wrong.
lin laoshi who got bullied by us. but srsly he fusses over us so much and we never paid attention but our chinese miraculously turned out more than just okay.
i miss them all!

gonna visit ms sathi and mrs lee in jan. yes i will. twice.

need to find back my motivation. esp in this very last lap.

now why did i take econs!

things that really make my day this alevel study leave

2011-10-27T17:19:00.001+08:00

in the morning..

mum's human alarm from australia.

baby getting all excited the moment I pick up my school bag and head towards the door. cause he knows he's going out:)

baby starting to run when I say "faster!" or "quick!"

being able to catch my early bus, sleeping on the bus..

being in sch really early, breakfasting while on facebook, twitter.

when I'm home..

baby happily finishing up his food (especially caesar!)

baby wanting to come onto my chair to sit beside me while I study.

baby sleeping so soundly while I study late into the night.

hugging him to sleep like he's my bolster.

but I'm not gonna fetch baby after sch from now onwards! dad's gonna do it.

11 more days to alevels.

for a bunch of guys whom I hold dear.

2011-10-24T19:59:00.001+08:00

I'm not that pleased with whatever happened.
deciding to let dance become "just a memory"

what happened to "once a nanhua dancer, always a nanhua dancer"? "一日南華舞蹈員，終生南華舞蹈員" dr foo said this to us.. I wonder if you guys still rmb.

what about the bond that we always emphasized? we were the biggest batch, and ridiculously proud of it.

think about the reasons we decided to abolish brotherhood and sisterhood pumps.. replacing them with dancehood.

think about what laoshi has given you in these four years. not only has he taught you to dance, he taught you how to 做人..

we all lead busy lives and I know we haven't visited laoshi TOGETHER in a really long time.

imagine what a nice surprise laoshi will have or if it doesn't turn out as a surprise.. imagine how laoshi will feel when he watches us dance, with our seniors from a few years back and many years back.. we'll be the youngest in the item.

I just hope that you all can join the item and perform for laoshi at least. it's meant to be a reunion item.. not one that's going for a competition.

go. and have fun.

think about what nhds has given you in that four years.

think about how your life in nanhua wouldn't have been as complete without nhds.

think about how you wouldn't have got to know each other, your brothers and sisters without nhds.

think about how laoshi taught you and encouraged you to always challenge yourself. the flips, the 雙人舞 etc.

without laoshi, we wouldn't have had the chance to do so many things. learn stuff dance ccas outside don't learn. take part in 2 ndps, syf, ayg.

it's not an excuse if you 怕丟臉..

"做人，要學會丟臉!" -老師

super tired!

2011-10-24T09:12:00.001+08:00

slogged till 4am this morning cause I wasn't happy with my econs essays which I did in smu and so I did both my essays again =.=

then I stared at the AQ for a lot more but still couldn't find the way out. gave up, planned for my essay, and decided to retire into the loving arms of my pillow and bed. rolled around and had to get out of bed at 5.30.

so here I am in crossroads after my econs consult, refusing to start work. econs consult again tmr. I wante to stay at home! but she went "when's the next time you can find me? tomorrow can?" and I figured out it'll be very bad to say no so yah. back to sch again tmr..

I miss my mummy.!

new home!

2011-10-24T01:12:00.000+08:00

hello everyone! sorry for the disappearance! i'm now HERE!

there were problems cause my mum's google account got combined with mine so i had to delete everything. so i no longer have access to 1-2-345 and my private blog is gone!

i'll update about my recent australia trip soon!

and rant about my alevel preparation! stay tuned! :)